Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Quote Unquote .... from here & there

Folks, if you are married or going to get married, you must read them. These one liners are so funny that I could not resist collecting and consolidating them. They are not meant to offend anybody and neither are they reflection of my thinking. I hope they flex your facial, jaw and throat muscles for a while. If you don't like them, just ignore this as another blog post!

1. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

2. My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

3. 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays and I go Fridays.

4. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

5. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher

6. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine'

7. I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.

8. There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

9. First guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angle!' Second guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

10. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

11. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

12. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to 13. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once ....

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